If only I had time

If only I had time
I would write more and work less
If only I had time
I would travel more and wish less
If only I had time
I would read more and draw more
I would paint and dance more
and complete more jigsaw puzzles
If I only had time
I would sleep more dream more

laugh more walk more

cry less, spend more
If I only had more time
I would dress up more
talk less and listen more
If I had more time I would wear lipstick
and drink more tea
and feel the nylons taut across my knee
as I swung my foot lazily
while I sat in a side street cafe
then maybe
when all this time had passed
and I was old and wise
and probably toothless
I would find
quite suddenly
that I miss you less



One Single Impression (writing challenge)

There and Back again

When I was little, every time we climbed in the car, I would ask my dad where we were going, he would reply in a quiet monotone

'there and back again'

'but why' I would ask,

'oh just to see how far it is' he would always say.

It feels as though its been forever since I posted a 'real' blog! The past 2 months have been a busy time for me, I've covered a fair few air and road miles, all of it good and all of it necessary.

Ive fetched my dog, she was absolutely overjoyed to see me, but has been wandering around a little lost and lonely since we got home. I spent two days with my mum, and helped my sister rearrange her furniture and de-clutter a lifetime of collectibles in anticipation of an open house soon. She and her man are climbing aboard their boat called Blue and sailing into the horizon sometime in Nov. Im trying to get a blog started for them, it will be on blogger I think, but how fabulous to follow them across the waves as they fulfill a dream!

The trip to Spokane was wonderful, it was good to see Nic and Jenn, good to see their home and be physically more present in their lives even for a week, the heavy snowfalls were incredible and I took way too many pictures of the white stuff, perhaps, but oh well, it was all fascinating to me. The amount of snow was limiting though and we didn't really get out as much as any of us would have have liked.

Then I headed north, a bit of a spur of the moment decision, but we both felt we needed to see each other in an environment which was his, even for a short time. It was nice to be included in decorating decisions for his new apartment, (high up on the 25th floor with the most incredible views of the city) and I now have solid visualizations of where he is, where he shops and even where he parks his car. Being apart has been the toughest thing ever..for both of us, and its not going to get any better any time soon but Im ok with that I think Im in a better place now than Ive been in a long while. I'm not putting my life on hold anymore, Im planning for my future and if its something we do together then great...if not then I plan to cope with that with as much dignity and grace as possible.

Toronto was amazing, although much colder than it was over in Spokane, we managed to get out and about more, and the trip to Niagara was incredible. I had been there before in the summer, so the contrasts for me were pretty dramatic. It was K's birthday while I was there, it was pretty low key, we went out to The Mandarin, an over the top Chinese restaurant with decor that had me waving my camera around like a lunatic but what fantastic food, oh heavens!! A weird thing happened though when we got our fortune cookies though, he had no fortune in it..and I had two..how strange was that!? It was Chinese New Year too so we were inundated with freebies and extras..it was fun.

I think travel is written in my stars this year, I have a number of trips in the pipeline. Ben and Harriet have kindly invited me to spend a few days with them in Mexico, am soo needing heat sand and sun, (margarita's and salsa lessons too...) so south will be my next port of call. I have a trip home to SA in April/May (which has been delayed because of my silly sinus surgery) After that, or maybe before.. a definite reunion with John, Linda and Cherie, Ronnie and Larry! Im thinking we need a Californian/West Coast Get-Together folks!!

Life is short and so rushed and I feel so strongly about connecting with those who enrich our lives. We're so fortunate to have this medium to meet people and even if we don't get to meet face to face, we still get to talk on the phone write and share the ups and downs in this crazy thing we call life!

(Rather than fill this blog with pictures Ive put them HERE, in no particular order)

Kleinburg, Ontario

We drove down to Kleinburg on a chilly snowy day, its a special country place set high above the Humber river, which meanders with you along side the highway, working slowly to carve the land, with vineyards flanking both sides of the roadways.

The river valley eventually falls away on either side leaving a high, open plateau with amazing views. The East valley is a haven of trees and wildlife, fed by the river and protected as parkland, a spectacular sight in winter. The village itself has fewer than 1000 inhabitants, (smaller even than Solvang) so one doesn't dare blink when driving through the quaint little main street..

We browsed through some shops, and then cosied up for coffee and cinnabons to thaw out before a leisurely drive home.

A letter to the Obama girls

from the Bush twins

Toronto ..and Beyond

A little man's view in a tin boat at the top of the world.

For the longest time I have wanted to see Niagara Falls in winter, I've been there in summer many years ago and so could really appreciate the contrasts. The wind chill factor was once again well below 20F that day, and while the sun was out in Toronto, it snowed consistently during the drive down to the falls.

The sight was spectacular and so worth the drive, but it was sooo cold I just stood and clicked a ton of pics and then jumped back in the car just hoping there would be some worth posting!

I loved the frosty trees near the waterline, previously misted trees now a starkly frozen tableau

We listened to the inauguration on the radio en route home, and stopped to rummage through a few antique shops, the views and the words merging into a day which felt quite surreal.

Looking through icy scrolls onto a spectacular winter scene below

For Jonathan

For many today is just another ordinary day, for me, no matter how much time passes, it will never be the same. Early on this day 14 years ago, my son drowned while fishing on a boat....it was a few months before his 16th birthday, my middle son, a brother, a nephew, a grandson...

I have no special place to go today, no particular memory which stands out, but however hard I try I am unable to let the day be just like any other.

I chose not to have a grave site, and scattered his ashes in the wind on the shores of the dam where his favourite swimming event was held each year, the one in which he had participated each year for the previous 5 years. I scattered his ashes at the start of his race, the one he should have been participating in.

I really didn't want to feel tied to one particular place too tightly. I feel such constrictive emotions about the place he died as it is, and I know I will never return there. Its the most heavenly area though, green and lush in the midst of tall trees..he loved it so.

The memory of him is everywhere I am, you see, and where I am not, it fills every pore of my being every single day.

Most days are much easier now, I talk and laugh about him freely. But today, this day, stands out for me, and for his brother and sister, for the rest my family and his friends too. Today, I know, in little pockets all over the world, his name will be mentioned, memories will be pondered over and he, and we, will be remembered with love and fondness..and that, honestly is good enough for me

Book Fetish

I'm sure like me, most of you received one or two books for Christmas, after seeing Chrissy's list I realized that some of us obviously got more than we bargained for. The fact that I have been unpacking boxes for the past month and finding books I received last year but haven't read yet, I just integrated them into this years pile... Sooo... whats in your pile?

Something New

I would like to share the start of a new venture of mine with you all.

Pinkie has very kindly offered me the reins for PICTURES TO WORDS, a project she started earlier in 2008, and as I truly believe in the beauty and growth that creative writing allows us, I have agreed, gladly, to continue the process

The format and content will obviously be a little different, but as the weeks progress I'm sure the site will find its footing and settle into a format which works for as many as possible.

To start I plan to post a picture every week, to which folk can submit a creative piece of writing/prose/poetry on their own site and then post a link back so everyone can visit and view the work.

The blog will be open to all as I truly want this to be a fun creative venture for everyone.

The site can be found here: Pictures To Words and the fun starts tomorrow...yikes....

http://picturestowords.multiply.com/journal/item/91/Under_New_Management